Well, 40 is sneaking up on me, I have a husband, a son, a home in the 'burbs. I figure it's about damn time I think about going to church.
Laugh if you will, but if you didn't grow up going to church, figuring it out at this point in life is a daunting task. Especially when your son's preschool registration deadline is tomorrow. I need to give the neighborhood school a hundred bucks unless I can find a church this afternoon with a great preschool and send him there instead.
Now yes, I know, I know -- you can send your child to a religiously affiliated preschool without actually being church members yourself. But I'm not one to monkey around with such nonsense. I need a religion, my kid needs a school, let's get this party started, shall we?
So where else to begin to find my true religion? An online quiz, of course. Belief-O-Matic. Beliefnet. There were several. Hoping that my answers would point me to a church within walking distance with a great preschool, I settled down with a cup of tea and answered a lot of questions. And you know what I got for my top three faith matches?
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Secular Humanism (96%)
3. Liberal Quakers (92%)
What the heck is this??? I've never heard of these religions! These religions do NOT have churches in my neighborhood with cafes and childcare. Plus, Andy's gonna be ticked. He really wanted a church with a basketball team.
Sigh. This may take a little longer than I thought.